..life with baby finn..

wow! it is hard to believe that at this time one week ago i was sitting here, timing contractions...wondering if i was really in labor! actually at this very moment we were getting ready to leave for the hospital! crazy how fast a week goes by.

{baby finn}

life with baby finn has been incredible! at one of my baby showers the ladies asked me to guess what type of personality he might have based off of how he was "in the womb." i told them i thought he was a very sweet baby bc he never really kicked or punched me! i always felt him moving, but never got many painful kicks or jabs. and so far i have been right...baby finn is so so sweet. we went to get his newborn pictures taken yesterday, and the photographer just kept commenting on how sweet he is. he sleeps most of the day, but when he is awake he is so alert and content. i was worried about whether or not he would be able to sleep through our crazy dogs barking - they tend to get pretty loud, but finn sleeps right through it so far. he is also a little tease - i cant even count how many times we have changed his diaper, and the second we pick him up off the changing table he pees or poops again! he especially loves to do this to his daddy! :) i don't know if it is the diapers we are using or what, but he pees through about 4 outfits a day! haha or he did for the first couple days. we have gotten better about checking him more often...what can i say, we are new at this! so far he doesn't like baths - but who would when you are just getting sponged down?!

{finn and his daddy}

i don't know about other girls, but while i was pregnant i wondered what lance would be like as a dad. i am not saying i didn't think he would be a good dad - i wouldn't have married the guy if i didn't think he'd be good with our kids. but he just never seemed too attached to the baby while i was pregnant. sometimes i would say to him, "are you even excited?!" and of course he said he was, i just never really saw it. but the second baby finn was born, lance turned into such a papa bear, and it just melts my heart to see him with baby finn. he is so loving and attentive, and always concerned about if he is too hot/cold, comfortable, hungry, etc... whenever anyone holds finn i can see what is going through lance's head - he is so concerned with how they are holding him, and if they are supporting his neck and head enough. normally i am the paranoid, overly protective person in our relationship, but it's almost as if our roles have been reversed. i can just see the love that lance has for finn and it makes me love lance even more. i know he is going to be such a great father, and i am excited to see the bond these two develop. :){how it feels to be a mommy}

i don't think anyone ever really knows what it's like to be a mom until you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. some things all the sudden become so much more important, while other things don't matter at all anymore. the lack of sleep and not being able to go places like i used to...all the weight i gained and the discomfort i experienced during the previous nine months don't matter at all to me. all i care about is baby finn and his comfort and health and well-being. rather than worrying about how horrible i must look since i haven't showered in two days, i worry about finn and whether or not he is getting enough to eat, how many wet and poopy diapers he has had and if the number of hours he sleeps is normal! already i love him more than i could ever put into words...and i don't think it has even totally hit me that i he really is here.

{finn & his older brothers}

as many of you know, i was so worried about how duke and claus would react to their little brother. everyone kept saying to me, "you are going to have two very jealous dogs when that baby is born." i got so annoyed when anyone told me that, mostly i was just hoping they would be wrong. and wrong they were! duke and claus absolutely LOVE baby finn...especially claus. duke doesn't really seem to notice finn much until lance gets home from work and starts holding him. then he becomes very interested and likes to be right there by lance and finn...in on the action. but he doesn't act jealous. claus follows me around everyone, just like he always has. he stands right by me when i change him...he sits right by us when i am just holding him...even when i am nursing finn, claus just sits right in my lap! it is so cute. claus is very protective of his little brother - whenever anyone comes over, claus sits right by whoever may be holding them, just to make sure they don't hurt him. :) claus loves giving finn kisses, and at first finn didn't like them. he would pull his hand away or kick his little legs any time claus licked his hands or feet. he has started to make this little squeal whenever the dogs kiss him...it is pretty funny! and i am happy to report that my feelings for my dogs have not changed! i love them just as much as i ever did, perhaps even more, after seeing what cute big brothers they are. :)

{my initiation into motherhood}

warning:this story kind of contains a lot of information, but i am blogging it for my own documentation!

we came home from the hospital tuesday night (4/12) and everything was perfect. duke and claus reacted better than we ever expected to the arrival of their little brother, and it just felt good to be home...to finally have baby finn in that crib that was so empty for so long. i fed him at about 8:00 and everything was fine, then we put him in his crib where he fell soundly asleep. he woke up hungry at around 11:00 pm...i tried to feed him but my milk had come in and i was totally engorged!! ahhhh it was awful! poor finn couldn't latch on bc...well i will leave it up to your imagination! anyway he just cried and cried and it was so sad. he was so hungry, and i could tell he was so frustrated bc he was trying his hardest but just couldn't latch on. so we gave him a binki and rocked him and got him to fall asleep...but still that didn't solve anything bc the poor guy was starving and couldn't eat. i figured that if he was really starving, he would latch on eventually, so i decided to wait until he woke up again before doing anything. well he woke up at 1:00 am, starving and screaming. i tried nursing, but he still couldn't latch on. i didn't know what to do, so i did the only thing i could think of that might solve our problem - got in my car and went to wal mart at 1:30 am to buy a breast pump. i knew they didn't have the one i wanted - i had hoped that we could hold out til the next morning until target was open so that i could buy the one i wanted - but when your brand new baby is starving and sad, you do what you gotta do! so i bought a breast pump, came home and pumped some of that milk out, hoping it would help baby finn latch on....and sure enough it did. :) on my way home from wal mart i was just overcome with love for baby finn. there isn't a thing i wouldn't do to take away his pain and sadness.

{my RAGING hormones}

after giving birth to cute baby finn, so many people would say things like "get ready for your hormones, they will be out of control!" well i couldn't really figure out what they meant, because my hormones have been out of control for nine months! haha well i guess it's another one of those things where you don't understand it until it happens to you!

my first hormonal moment happened while listening to the tim mcgraw song, "don't take the girl." there is a verse about a mother giving birth to her baby....and i just totally lost it! i have heard this song hundreds of times and it is a sad song, but it has never made me cry the way it did this time.

the next time i totally lost it was a couple days after we had been home. my mom had been coming over during the days to cook and clean and help with baby finn. well she wasn't able to come the next day and when she left that night i totally lost it, and i mean totally. i think i cried for two hours! and it wasn't even that big of a deal...i could handle being at home alone with finn, i wasn't too scared and knew that if i had any worries or concerns there were so many people i could call to come help. there is just something about having your mom there to help you, especially when you have no idea what you are doing! it is also just nice to have someone here to talk to. i think that being a mom makes you appreciate your own mom that much more, and i am so grateful that my mom lives so close and is able to come over so often. she was about as excited as i was for this little guy to get here, and i am so grateful that baby finn will have such a wonderful grandma. :)

our friends, the clarks, brought dinner to us one night, which was so incredibly thoughtful and nice, considering she just had a baby three weeks earlier. well, a couple days before they brought dinner to us, i was telling jen how one of my cravings since giving birth was apples and caramel dip...so guess what jen brought with dinner - apples and caramel dip! i totally just started bawling! haha i think i have appreciated things more than i ever did...i am so grateful for friends and family who care so much about us and who are so willing to go out of their way to show their love. it just means the world to me!

baby finn's pictures were scheduled for saturday 4/16, and to my surprise lance was able to come (i thought for sure he would have to work, he has been sooooo busy)! so the night before we were just hanging out, and lance says to me, "i don't think i'm gonna go tomorrow." i just started bawling and said, "lance, you have to." he said, "why?" i said, "i can't go alone, i am too scared." he just had this confused look on his face and said, "what are you talking about?!" i said, "finn's pictures. you have to come!" he said, "no, i was talking about the bachelor party i am supposed to go to tomorrow night. i don't think i am going to go." haha then he gave me a great big hug and said, "of course i wouldn't miss finn's pictures."

well there you have it. a novel of our first week as parents. i am so grateful for all that i have been blessed with, and honestly our first week home has been more wonderful than i ever would have expected. i am so thankful for all the amazing people we have in our lives, who already love baby finn so sooo much. i am thankful for an amazing husband who works so hard to provide for our little family, and for being such an amazing father. and i am so incredibly thankful for baby finn, and for the love he brings into our home. :)

{baby finn @ one week old}